Please be warned that some of my entries may contain discussion of NSFW topics such as BDSM/kink, and some suggestive imagery.
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Latest Entry: Under the Weather | 09.02.2026
Setting Up | 09.01.2026
So i finally set up a blog section of my website.... its a little daunting thinking of what to write. Im also nervous about people reading my thoughts, but its good for me to get them out of my system.I recently started playing the game "Second Life". my partner has played it for about a year, and it seemed really interesting based on what he shared to me of it... Well, starting has been the best decision ive made in a while. ive already had so much fun and made so many friends.
Heres a picture i took with my partner. isnt he cute...
Besides that all, ive been listening to a lot of Halle Uchida again. i notice their music has been exploding lately...?! especially the song below. i cant blame anyone though, their music is really good.. ive loved it since i first heard it about two or three years ago.
Its probably really corny, but this song also makes me think a lot about my own experiences grappling with my sexuality... im finally starting to be less shy about it.
Id like to eventually ramble about my own thoughts on that sort of stuff but im very shy... You can gather from my various disclaimers, but i really like BDSM. i probably will never go into too much detail considering i have a partner and am not interested in making myself available to the public in that way, but i have a lot of musing i could do on the topic itself and my own preferences. theres also lots of media to explore with that kind of content...
I think being submissive for someone is the best feeling ever. its very relaxing to be bossed around or told what to do, not having to think about anything in particular. beyond just being a sexual preference, that sort of thing can be really healing, on both ends... I cant tell if i sound like a pervert though.
I also think sadomasochism is wonderful, though im firmly on the masochism side of things. it makes me happy that theres such a culture of consent and making sure everyone's okay with that sort of thing. its also lovely that masochism can be all sorts of things... not just receiving pain, but also being embarrassed or put below someone. i really love it. its something im passionate about.
Well this is getting too long, so ill cut it short here, but thank you for reading.
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Under the Weather | 09.02.2026
Its really something how i seem to feel physically bad all the time... Im already always extremely fatigued, but i tend to also get bouts of illness/feverishness so often. It happens especially when i do too much in one day, even if its just feeling some pretty strong emotions that day. Today my head hurts, im nauseous, sweaty, feverish, and i just feel... bad...!!In other news, i have a lot ive accomplished recently. ive made a lot of friends, took care of some stuff in my life, and ive been finally making updates to this site again. I even added a little widget for my statuses thanks to this page by petrapixel. I have no idea what to put for statuses, but im thinking of just using it as a miniblog... random thoughts or lyrics i enjoy, probably. I have a lot left to do still on this site, and in my personal life, so its a bit stressful... but i know i can push through and finish everything.
Art especially has been hard recently. im not sure why, but even if i want to draw, it seems like nothing ever comes out right. I end up getting upset and sick at the end of it. Of course, when it goes right, its really rewarding. thats why i keep trying. Art is my greatest passion in the world, so i have to draw. i dont know who i am if im not drawing... thats also part of why i drew a few assets for my site myself.
About Second Life... its a nice way to relax and escape from the problems im having with my physical health for a little while. of course its not healthy to escape forever, but... i will be responsible. its also a really good creative outlet. i love how i can incorporate my own art/creations into it. my partner even taught me how to use Blender. i keep forgetting how to do a lot of things in it, but he patiently re-teaches me every time... hes so kind...
A picture i took with one of my friends, who i recently encouraged to try playing again.
One thing i appreciate about Second Life is how it really feels like a space for adults (not that minors should be playing in the first place...), and that everyone ive met seems so open to different kinds of expression. for example, you can have a realistic avatar, a furry avatar, an anime-inspired avatar, or pretty much anything else you can think of. you can even be an abstract creature. i mean, look at imprimper's purchasable avatars.
Im also happy that, since its an adult space, people seem very open to sexual expression too. well... theres a lot of full on erotic roleplaying on the site, even things made to simulate sex, but i also just mean being open with your sexuality. its very nice...... i notice a lot of BDSM related avatar items for sale on the site, and it makes me happy. im a bit too shy to run around in anything super inappropriate, though..!! besides the fact that i much prefer fetish-related clothing over skimpy clothing and thats especially embarrassing. i like modesty, i think its cute, especially in sexual settings... oh, but im rambling now.
Side note, i also got decapitation and autopsy scars on my Second Life avatar made by a friend, and they're so cute... i think ill make that part of my site mascot's design, too (not that you can even see them, since my mascot wears a scarf and clothing...)
I have a collar on here so you cant see the decapitation scar, but you can sort of clearly see the autopsy scar... i think its so cute. i think it suits me. I have two main avatars, and they both have both scars now.
Last note... have you played ENA: Dream BBQ? I miss Coral Glasses a lot. she really resonates with me. and shes very cute. i hope to see her again one day...
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